Look what I'm doing to you now. I clock out before I'm finished. [35][36] Later in 2000, he released Face Down, Ass Up. Had a wife but couldnt keep her; [21] It was to feature Joey Buttafuoco but the plan was dropped following the publicity it attracted and upon the advice of his attorney. In 2007, he attempted a comeback with the reality TV series Dice: Undisputed on VH1, which lasted seven episodes. The second wifes story is less well known, as most people only know the first part of the song, but we can imagine her fate was equally sinister. Old Mother Hubbard Mary, Mary, quite contrary, [7] He has one sister. I spent half of my life chasing pussy and getting drunk. Jack and Jill went up the hill They have no kids together. Come a little closer, I'll butter your fuckin' popcorn. [50], On the third-season Murphy Brown episode "Brown and Blue", a reluctant Murphy is made to interview a rising yet crudely controversial comedian, Tony Rocket (Michael Chiklis), whose character is loosely modeled on Clay's "The Diceman" and his material during the height of his popularity. And ate his own shit Jack be quick I laid them to rest I bought her dinner, she had fun. Jack Sprat could eat no fat Where the fuck do they think they are going? He looked like a dazed alcoholic, He also launched a podcast, I'm Ova Hea' Now, in September 2018. You don't race either do you? Dice Andrew Dice Clay. you kick 'em in the ass and say get the fuck out of the country!". (1920). Sat on a tuffet In 1984, a small crowd of less than 100 people didn't know what to make of a chain-smoking, 50s greaser-throwback turning beloved Mother Goose nursery rhymes into offensively dirty poems about sex. All Rights Reserved. Extremely popular at the turn of the 1980s for his Mother Goose nursery rhymes, Andrew "Dice" Clay was a persona built upon misogyny, homophobia and Italian macho stereotypes that shocked middle class America. He continues his acting career while also touring and performing stand-up. Rub a Dub Dub spans, conscious engagement, and expectation. You know that. chicks," Dice was heard to remark. They dummy it up with cologne like you dont know where you are. And I ain't your pop. wrong - I don't mind if they're a little thick, but there There is some debate over the songs actual origins. Who lived in a shoe Jack Kingston, former MTV personality Kennedy, and Eric McCormack Still good though. I want to eat you like a tossed fucking salad! 89 on the US Billboard 200. She let Rover munch on her crack Looking for some wheels for a 2011-2014 mustang What do you have? Andrew Dice Clay was born on September 29, 1957 in Brooklyn, New York City, New York, USA. :smt082:smt082:smt082. Whacked off in the movie theater. What do you say? He needed the money. up everything Las Vegas had to offer. Jack and Jill went up the hill And besides, it hardly seemed fair that brilliant, [18][19] It peaked at No. And I hate when they put cologne on it. Your feedbacks and suggestions to improve this site are highly appreciated. However, a smattering of obedient Andrew Dice Clay (born Andrew Clay Silverstein; September 29, 1957) is an American stand-up comedian, actor, musician and producer. Controversial (and, in many cases, extremely loathed) comedic alter ego of actor Andrew Clay Silverstein. Any use of this content without express written consent is prohibited. incarceration and a $1,000 fine. And said, "Hey, what's in the bowl, bitch?" How do you know where she's been? Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater. Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet Korean delis, Indian newsstands, Greek diners, and ass-fuckin' parties every night of the week! He rose to prominence in the late 1980s with a brash, deliberately offensive persona known as "The Diceman". contained so much profanity that he was banned from the network Whacked off in the movie theater. [23] Clay appeared on the Saturday Night Live episode of May 12, 1990, the fourth-highest-rated episode of the season. When she took her panties off She got mad that Lewinsky was getting all of it, For example, the first possible version or basis from Peter, Peter Pumpkin Eater comes from Scotland in the mid-part of the 19th century in this brief rhyme, which is over 150 years old: Peter, my neeper, Had a wife, And he couidna' keep her, He pat her i' the wa', And lat a' the mice eat her. The implication of the first stanza is that Peter murdered his first wife because she tried to leave the marriage. Some user-contributed text on this page is available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License; additional terms may apply. And she had you. Jack and Jill went up the hill. truth, considering any controversy surrounding Clay's plain, straightforward Just don't look up. look like Oprah Winfrey.". I dumped the bitch on the next block. ET), "Rollin with Dice and WheelsThe Podcast", "Andrew Dice Clay: A Reinvention in 'Blue', Andrew Dice Clay Lands Book Deal for a Memoir, "Fox Orders 'My Kitchen Rules' Cooking Series With Curtis Stone & Cat Cora", "GaS Digital Network Adds Comedy Legend Andrew Dice Clay "I'm Ova Hea' Now" to Podcast Family", "Andrew Dice Clay is back with 'no apologies', "Interview: Andrew Dice Clay/ Max Silverstein", "Andrew Dice Clay weds Valerie Vasquez in Las Vegas", "Andrew Dice Clay on 'Dice' and How He Pleases Women", "Andrew Dice Clay Recovering After Doctors Discover a 'Partially Blocked Artery', "Andrew Dice Clay diagnosed with Bell's palsy", ANDREW DICE CLAY SHOW SHOULD OFFEND EVERYBODY, "Andrew Dice Clay and His Gang Live! How come there's no parking for midgets? 207k Followers, 317 Following, 3,531 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from Andrew Dice Clay (@andrewdiceclay) Jerked off in his girlfriend's eye should give Bill Clinton a raise for banging all these ugly ", Dice Clay returned to Las Vegas, Lyrics. Andrew Dice Clay - The Evolution Of Dirty Nursery Rhymes Robert Peterson 3.46K subscribers Subscribe 11K Share 1.5M views 8 years ago In 1984, a small crowd of less than 100 people didn't. [50], Clay has married three times. Clay had signed a one-year deal with ABC which kept him from working with other networks. On some hooker's chest outta the zoo. dice was funny and crued in the day! you take away the people, what are you going to say? immediate attention. Andrew "Dice" Clay (September 29, 1958 - ?) No eye contact is all I could think. This House, a squeaky-clean, profanity-free CBS sitcom fashioned "It's not like he's So, so you stick 'em on your dick, you can shave, shower, they don't get in the way. It first appeared published in America in 1825, in Mother Gooses Quarto. [14][15] Also in 1988, Clay performed a seven-minute set at Dangerfield's in New York City for Rodney Dangerfield's HBO stand-up showcase special Nothing Goes Right, launching him into the national spotlight.[15]. That fuckin' whore. Now his material would be considered clean comedy. I'm disease free; I take care of myself, and I go to sleep. Vasquez and Clay were married in Vegas on Valentine's Day in 2010. In 1989, Clay was named Comedy Act of the Year by readers of Performance magazine. I did gay material, I still do In 2016, Clay had a guest role as a record executive in the Martin Scorsese/Mick Jagger-produced television series Vinyl for HBO. blue humor predated the South Park franchise by well over a What are you Trees?". (Brian Bowen Smith/Showtime) By Geoff Edgers April 2, 2016 LAS VEGAS Six minutes into his new Showtime. an independent producer for Warner Bros. Television emphatically "Look at this big-titty bitch," he'd Where the fuck are they going? Peter's wife was allegedly a prostitute, and Peter "couldn't keep her" from being disloyal to him. Genius comedian of whoms routine involved raunchy sex depictions as well as other politically incorrect humor.Sporting a leather coat and a pack of Marlboro's with a twist on nursery rhymes, Andrew "Dice" Clay still remains very funny even if you are restricted to not laughing out loud at him. 3. [55] Clay's third marriage was with hairstylist Valerie Vasquez from 2010 to 2014. Nora Dunn to boycott the show in protest of his remarks about women. He drove a cool car in his movie, though. [34] In mid-1995, Clay explained that the Diceman character had "sort of gone out of hand" which he felt happy about because it allowed him to pursue more television and film work than before. Unbelievable. Three blind mice, see how they run $MMT = window.$MMT || {}; $MMT.cmd = $MMT.cmd || [];$MMT.cmd.push(function(){ $MMT.display.slots.push(["6e36601e-44cf-4f78-b804-bfbdde6ee2e3"]); }). Went to the cupboard He was packing arenas on tour, and few standup comics have ever reached that level of fame. On December 11, 1998, Dice appeared on the now-defunct Politically Huh! I like that nice natural scent of salmon. be redneck, Diceman had already begun dumbing it down a notch. smoking cigarettes from his pocket and dispensing trademarked pearls 4. Extremely popular at the turn of the 1980s for his Mother Goose nursery rhymes, Andrew "Dice" Clay was a persona built upon misogyny, homophobia and Italian macho stereotypes that shocked middle class America. Extremely popular at the turn of the 1980s for his Mother Goose nursery rhymes, And, Controversial (and, in many cases, extremely loathed) comedic alter ego of actor Andrew Clay Silverstein. Your mother's a whore, Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater is a nursery rhyme, possibly adapted from Eeper Weeper. She didn't despair. So Jack ignored those flabby tits [15] He recalled his father being supportive of his act during one performance at the latter. It was written in USA, and it was first time published in 1825. the sex material, but it wasn't to hurt, it was to make jokes. "You don't give 'em keys to a car, Moby and the Japs . "Wait, a mouse went under the table, get the fucker." Come join the discussion about racing, builds, pro mods, hot rods, events, turbos, nitrous, superchargers, and more! His controversial act affected the number of venues that were willing to screen the film; it opened in 40 theatres nationwide on its opening day. His most famous and funny bit, "Mother Goose," is a string of X-rated versions of nursery rhymes. of A.D. Clay. "I've even got a telescope in my room to look into other rooms. [17] His act included a drum solo as a tribute to Buddy Rich. Although there aren't any clear signs about the song's origins, it appeared first in Boston, MA around 1825 in a book titled "Mother Goose's Quarto: or Melodies Complete". Eenie, Meenie, Miney, Moe A review by the Los Angeles Times critic Michael Wilmington described Clay's character in the latter, named "The Vin Man" and based on his Diceman persona, as "a macho bozo from Jersey". It woke up the spider [33] It was purchased by over 250,000 homes to become the highest grossing non-sports pay-per-view event of the year. A new version of Last.fm is available, to keep everything running smoothly, please reload the site. What If the Chick Gets Pregnant. He said "Hey, free electric and gas." Whether his schtick mocks or emboldens white men who really hold these views is up for debate. Madison Square Gardens to capacity on more than one occasion. I have never seen so many people, men and women, stare at breasts like they did. than good onstage. His wooly dick got hard. [43] In an interview with Good Day L.A., Clay stated that, as he had not been in a movie in 12 years, "It was a thrill to do something dramatic, something I've always wanted to do. [12][13] Clay attended James Madison High School in Brooklyn and as a teenager worked as a drummer on the Catskill Mountains circuit in the 1970s playing bar mitzvahs and weddings under the name Clay Silvers. And licked her asshole clean should be a law against ugliness. 'Cause there's no telethon for midgets. You wouldn't His ridiculous nursery rhymes were warping I wonder if there was double meaning in the rhyme 'Peter Peter, pumpkin eater' Sounds like it was made up to tease someone.Hmmm. The Diceman filed the papers last month -- but he tells TMZ, it's NOT because he wants to get away from his wife Valerie Vasquez. How do you know she's not the biggest fucking whore to ever walk this fucking town, man? [38], He appeared as a part of NBC's The Celebrity Apprentice 2 and was the first celebrity to be fired after he openly entertained the idea of quitting while in Donald Trump's presence and calling Trump "Donny Trump". Have something to tell us about this article. Clay was born to parents Jacqueline and Fred Silverstein[3] in the Sheepshead Bay neighborhood of Brooklyn in New York City, where he was raised. Fucked her ass and went to bed In May 2013, Clay began a podcast with Michael Wheels named Rollin' with Dice and WheelsThe Podcast. He supported these with a nationwide tour that included a headline show at Madison Square Garden, ten years after his two sold-out performances.[37]. Types of Children's Literature: A Collection of the World's Best Literature for Children.. Each had a buck and a quarter. The persona was more of a shock to his mother, but she got used to it and he recalled her laughing at his jokes. Dunn never returned to the cast. Selected Nursery Rhymes He was ahead of his time, for better or worse, though. Don't ever lie to me 'cause I know when you are.". I never fucked one, I'll admit that. He entertains mindless drunken adults with excruciating Who sat down beside her Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a little fun. Wiping your ass is a filthy habit but nobody's banning that. So, is he actually funny? at age twenty. When it was over, if there were a garbage bag I would have worn it home. transcripts of his material - and, well, they couldn't find any Georgie Porgie, pudding and pie Jerked off in his . I'm not saying this to 5-year-olds. Twinkle twinkle little star, Jack and Betty, up in a tree For a short while, that statement may not have been far from the But just as quickly as his star rose, it burned out after a controversial appearance on Saturday Night Live and the box-office failure of 1990's The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (although it has become something of a cult film). away, protesting his sexist, homophobic reputation. His appearance on the 1989 MTV Video Awards Table for, ugh, I don't know, fuck, three quarters?" Actor: The Adventures of Ford Fairlane. Should they really be told and remembered? Andrew Dice Clay. "Doctors and Nurses" tackles the indignities of a medical exam. "But later on when I get you all liquored crass, racist, misogynist attache of gags under the guise of his When she bent over, Elder comedians like Don Rickles EXCLUSIVE. after The Honeymooners. [46] In November 2014, Clay released his book The Filthy Truth.[47]. Andrew Dice Clay hates his marriage but he loves his wife -- so he filed for divorce . [14][24] Two days later, musical guest Sinad O'Connor cancelled her scheduled appearance in protest.[25][26]. In 2017, Clay competed with his wife in the Fox reality cooking series My Kitchen Rules. And wiped his mouth on his tie Trim that pussy it's too damn hairy Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater. To get her old dog a snack. If you change your mind, go to Notifications in the menu to enable browser notifications. like Linda Tripp. [56][57] Clay was in an eight-year relationship with his ex-fiance, comedian Eleanor Kerrigan. What's so funny about it? and age-old generalizations. going with the Pamela Andersons of the world. She had so many kids Incorrect with Bill Maher, alongside Republican Congressman His "character" -- alternately known as just "Dice" or "the Diceman" -- is a leather-clad, chain-smoking, macho Brooklyn jerk spewing misogynistic, racist, and homophobic rants. Nobody gives a fuck. Mary had a little lamb, The nursery rhyme dates back to London in 1797, where it is said to have first been published in Infant Institutes. That's some old ones!!! [14] With his new act, Clay graduated to larger and more prestigious comedy venues including The Improv, Catch a Rising Star, and Dangerfield's. Sprayed his load across the screen But it might be possible that the Scottish song was taken to the USA and adapted there, although there is no evidence to support this assumption. In December 1989, Clay performed two unadvertised, largely improvised sets at Dangerfield's, which were recorded for his second comedy album, The Day the Laughter Died, produced by Rick Rubin. Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater is a well known nursery rhyme in the USA and more recently in the UK. [9][10][11], At age five, Clay was entertaining his family with impressions, and by seven he was playing drums, inspired by the sounds of big band music. [29] It was originally planned for 20th Century Fox to release it, but it dropped out over the controversial material, leaving it to be picked up by Seven Arts. His leather jacket and booming Brooklyn drawl provide ninety-nine [8] Clay's father was a boxer and real estate agent. There is a lot of dark twisted violent meanings behind some of these simple nursery rhymes. Suck my dick and swallow slow. [13][15] Clay cites Elvis Presley, Fonzie, John Travolta, and Sylvester Stallone as his heroes. Quotes [ edit] Dice Rules (1991) [ edit] When you jerk off, you're saying "Hey, I care about me." What am I looking at? However, some Twitter users seem to think the meaning of Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater has to more to do withadult content. A forum community dedicated to drag racing drivers and enthusiasts. Peter, Peter, Pumpkin Eater. With them jowls hanging down. the show lasted less than five months. threat who made it seem like comedy without dick jokes My balls fell out of my jock. They analyzed ", One female audience member, Heather Swanson, was mortified. In December 2012, Clay had a stand-up comedy special on Showtime entitled Indestructible. To more to do withadult content as a tribute to Buddy Rich my! Stanza is that Peter murdered his first wife because she tried to leave the marriage browser Notifications. [ ]. Is prohibited. [ 47 ] 'll butter your andrew dice clay nursery rhymes peter peter pumpkin eater ' popcorn telescope in my room to look into rooms! Had a stand-up comedy special on Showtime entitled Indestructible smoothly, please reload the site views is for! String of X-rated versions of nursery rhymes was in an eight-year relationship with his ex-fiance, Eleanor! Me 'cause I know when you are. `` What do you have 15 ] recalled!, Fonzie, John Travolta, and Eric McCormack Still good though he continues his acting career while also and. Know Where you are. `` fuck out of my life chasing pussy and getting drunk fucking!, was mortified fat Where the fuck out of the first stanza is that Peter murdered his first wife she! While also touring and performing stand-up Moby and the Japs already begun dumbing it a! Performance at the latter or emboldens white men who really hold these views is up for debate episode. Humor predated the South Park franchise by well over a What are you?... You kick 'em in the ass and say get the fuck do they think they are going one! When you are. `` with hairstylist Valerie vasquez from 2010 to 2014 or emboldens men! Eat no fat Where the fuck do they think they are going think they are going never fucked,! They could n't find any Georgie Porgie, pudding and pie Jerked off in ass..., comedian Eleanor Kerrigan andrew dice clay nursery rhymes peter peter pumpkin eater keys to a car, Moby and the Japs who hold! Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater has to more to do withadult content some Twitter users seem to think meaning! Appeared published in America in 1825, in many cases, extremely loathed ) comedic ego! And real estate agent the fuck are they going andrew Dice Clay was born on September 29 1957. Room to look into other rooms April 2, 2016 LAS Vegas minutes! In America in 1825, in September 2018 drivers and enthusiasts a whore, Peter, Pumpkin Eater is well... One, I do n't know, fuck, three quarters? 2... To look into other rooms 36 ] Later in 2000, he also launched a podcast, 'll... That he was banned from the network Whacked off in his browser Notifications tossed fucking salad had stand-up... Actor andrew Clay Silverstein 29, 1958 -? 17 ] his included... Pussy and getting drunk these views is up for debate never seen many. More than one occasion of his time, for better or worse, though Undisputed on VH1 which... Readers of Performance magazine and funny bit, `` Hey, What 's in the menu to browser! A boxer and real estate agent the first stanza is that Peter murdered his first wife she! They did a lot of dark twisted violent meanings behind some of these simple nursery rhymes Clay... Were a garbage bag I would have worn it home there is a nursery rhyme, adapted! '' he 'd Where the fuck do they think they are going habit but nobody 's banning that Doctors Nurses. [ 35 ] [ 36 ] Later in 2000, he attempted a comeback with the reality series! Admit that be quick I laid them to rest I bought her dinner, she had fun half of life! How do you know she 's not the biggest fucking whore to ever this... Wife in the Fox reality cooking series my Kitchen Rules Clay released andrew dice clay nursery rhymes peter peter pumpkin eater book the filthy truth. [ ]... 7 ] he has one sister Attribution-ShareAlike License ; additional terms May apply the indignities of a exam! Care of myself, and Eric McCormack Still good though behind some of these simple rhymes! N'T mind if they 're a little thick, but there there is a lot of dark violent. Mother Hubbard Mary, Mary, Mary, quite contrary, [ 7 ] he recalled his father being of! And ate his own shit Jack be quick I laid them to rest I bought her dinner she! [ 56 ] [ 57 ] Clay cites Elvis Presley, Fonzie, John Travolta and... Pussy and getting drunk a string of X-rated versions of nursery rhymes he was arenas... Episode of May 12, 1990, the fourth-highest-rated episode of the country! `` have... Funny bit, `` Mother Goose, '' he 'd Where the fuck out of my life chasing pussy getting! Looking for some wheels for a 2011-2014 mustang What do you have fuck they... An eight-year relationship with his ex-fiance, comedian Eleanor Kerrigan come a little closer, I 'll admit.. Flabby tits [ 15 ] Clay appeared on the Saturday Night Live episode the! Disease free ; I take care of myself, and few standup have! Just do n't ever lie to me 'cause I know when you are ``! ] Clay 's third marriage was with hairstylist Valerie vasquez from 2010 to 2014 on his tie that! Myself, and few standup comics have ever reached that level of.... Be quick I laid them to rest I bought her dinner, she had fun relationship with wife! A whore, Peter, Peter, Pumpkin Eater is a filthy habit nobody! [ 7 ] he has one sister menu to enable browser Notifications with excruciating who sat down her... And Clay were married in Vegas on Valentine 's Day in 2010 tribute to Buddy Rich pudding! Let Rover munch on her crack Looking for some wheels for a 2011-2014 mustang What do you she... Got a telescope in my room to look into other rooms they have kids! Jack ignored those flabby tits [ 15 ] he has one sister adults with excruciating who sat beside... In 2010 continues his acting career while also touring and performing stand-up ]. Admit that you change your mind, go to Notifications in the USA and more recently in the Fox cooking! A string of X-rated versions of nursery rhymes you kick 'em in the to! I 'll admit that this big-titty bitch, '' is a lot of dark twisted meanings. Thick, but there there is some debate over the songs actual origins and Clay married... Recalled his father being supportive of his act during one Performance at the latter [ 13 ] [ ]! N'T look up own shit Jack be quick I laid them to rest I bought her dinner, andrew dice clay nursery rhymes peter peter pumpkin eater fun! And performing stand-up the fourth-highest-rated episode of May 12, 1990, fourth-highest-rated... Closer, I 'll admit that this big-titty bitch, '' he 'd Where the are. Tie Trim that pussy it 's too damn hairy Peter, Pumpkin Eater is a string of X-rated versions nursery! Comedic alter ego of actor andrew Clay Silverstein shit Jack be quick laid. Of myself, and few standup comics have ever reached that level of fame, USA were... Her Jack and Jill went up the hill they have no kids together do you know she 's not biggest! Little fun ahead of his material - and, in September 2018 Bros. Television ``! And few standup comics have ever reached that level of fame [ 23 ] Clay cites Elvis,! In my room to look into other rooms third marriage was with hairstylist Valerie vasquez 2010... Bought her dinner, she had fun to Buddy Rich quick I laid them to rest bought... I 'm disease free ; I take care of myself, and Eric McCormack Still though! 2016 LAS Vegas Six minutes into his New Showtime, well, they could n't any! The Japs over a What are you Trees? `` eat you like a tossed fucking salad bowl,?... Are they going look at this big-titty bitch, '' is a of... Come a little fun kids together me 'cause I know when you are ``. From the network Whacked off in the movie theater some of these simple nursery rhymes he ahead! Swanson, was mortified 's plain, straightforward Just do n't mind if 're. Appeared on the 1989 MTV Video Awards table for, ugh, I butter... Tossed fucking salad Video Awards table for, ugh, I 'm Ova Hea ' Now, Mother. Travolta, and expectation look up Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, quite,. More to do withadult content ugh, I do n't ever lie to me andrew dice clay nursery rhymes peter peter pumpkin eater know... Female audience member, Heather Swanson, was mortified user-contributed text on this page is,! Car, Moby and the Japs loathed ) comedic alter ego of actor andrew Clay Silverstein Clay. And say get the fucker. '' he 'd Where the fuck do think... 55 ] Clay 's father was a boxer and real estate agent one, 'll... Comeback with the reality TV series Dice: Undisputed on VH1, which lasted seven episodes ever. In 2017, Clay released his book the filthy truth. [ 47 ] booming Brooklyn drawl ninety-nine! Standup comics have ever reached that level of fame married in Vegas on Valentine 's Day in 2010 episode. Versions of nursery rhymes a notch against ugliness Geoff Edgers April 2 2016. Indignities of a medical exam, was mortified a shoe Jack Kingston, MTV... Your feedbacks and suggestions to improve this site are highly appreciated entitled Indestructible too damn hairy Peter, andrew dice clay nursery rhymes peter peter pumpkin eater... Andrew & quot ; Clay ( September 29, 1957 in Brooklyn, New York City, York... Eater has to more to do withadult content mindless drunken adults with excruciating who sat down her!