dads against unfair child supportdads against unfair child support

There should not be such a thing as child support. My ex left me in 2005 for a female soldier when he was in iraq and had gotten her pregnant. He completely has controlled our lives and finances for the last four years. As Graham points out, 29 percent of families in the system live below the federal poverty line. I agree!!!! Why should dads (or any parent) have to show they will be better than any other parent (real or imagined!). And the article. Now I fear if I get pulled over for any reason, Ill end up in jail. If a pregnancy occur from the equal decision is when equality breaks down for the man. I am agoraphobic now. It was the father that busted the door down and found the boy. The only one that spends weekends with me is my youngest. It should matter what the mother makes per year based on how the support is Calculated . She has No accountability, and there is no equality whatsoever. Well if thats the case why cant she be held to this same standard? Im going through this right now with to kids from different mothers and I dont Kno what to do or where to start il love my kids dearly and would give my right and left arm for either one of them when I went to court I was so nervous and ashamed I was all alone and the judge belittled me in front of all those people there was nothing I could do when I went to the court house that day I spoke to a lady and she gave me figures of what I had to pay as she did for everyone that came in ..all smiles and everything little did I Kno she was the one the would be trying to hang me out to dry! KIDNAPPER. So why bother. Thats a different story. Rose you really are making it sounds so like you created the child alone. Seriously if I end up in jail for failure to pay the full amount owed in Child support. We live in a society where women are above men. The support pays her house note shes late paying all the time crushing my credit. I did go back to file for child support, but at this point, I know Im wasting my time. For example if my rent is $300 dollars and my child support is $500 just between rent and child support by itself that is 9600. And NEVER MARRY BOYS! God bless! She would not let him see his son, but he did not want to sacrifice the support because he knew she was could not afford to raise him with out it. Thats whats wrong with parenting,there is always that one who feels they should have ALL THE SAY SO.. EVERYONE has to learn how to Co -parent. If he wants to give me all the burden of child rearing AND 90% of the expenses, then he and every parent like him (male or female) can suffer the consequences. So enter a judges job But its just a job to the judge so status quo is what you get. DOWN WITH THE MEN is all I hear them saying anymore. Amen. All of this after she brought the man who beat her while she was holding their baby back into the home. Mind you the whole time after my daughter was born. Costs to raise a child should be split 50/50. The Child Support Performance and Incentive Act creates financial incentives to both place the children with the lower earning parent, and to restrict the non-custodial parents access to their children. As it is fathers are segregated from their children as though they have done something wrong or immoral by no longer being with the mother and turned into quasi-criminals by default at an alarming rate and it is an absolute abuse and assault on the male gender as a whole insofar as their humanity from boy hood to man hood and it will stop or ill die trying. Guys have went to jail for owing $1500. The Office of Child Support Enforcement assures that support (both financial and medical) is available to children through locating parents, establishing paternity, identifying support obligations, and enforcing those obligations. It boggles my mind that almost 90% of custodial parents are women. "So, be politely persistent. This divided things and made dads home and moms home two seperate sides for our son. Make sure you get a decent lawyer because shes a woman and automatically has the law on her side. 2. I take care of my daughter. Introducing the Unfairness of Child Support for Fathers: A Closer Look Child support is an issue that has been under the microscope for decades. Hes case is real to him just as your case is just as real to you. Good luck to you. While my ex orders pizza and goes out to dinner. Whilst many views float around arguing for and against child support, most decent fathers and parents would argue the issue is not whether or not they wish to support their children, but rather the often unfair conditions imposed upon them. Where? But we all know it isnt bring used for my one and only. Reform Family Law and Family Courts The only thing that can again make the equation equal, is the ability of the man to decide if hes willing to be responsible financially and supportively for the child. HOWEVER, the majority of men do not want the day to day care of children, but will agree to the 50/50 arrangement in order to avoid child support. Support Enforcement but no Parenting Time EnforcementIf I miss Child Support, she can contact a division of the court that immediately takes action to enforce. There are a lot of valid points being made in this conversation. I am afraid that sharing it will upset too many people but want to show support. Why would she put the necessary effort into a relationship, when she could just as easy move on, collect child support, and start a new life with someonewho has income of his own. Some fathers do not even know they have a child until they receive a notice for past due child support. Children need to bond to one parent when they are growing up. The Support order was for $1,000 which was clearly a mistake so i contacted Child Support Enforcement which told me they did not calculate any of the 35% of the time sharing i had with my son during the year because the dates I provided i had him during the year did not exactly match the dates she provided (was told if one date does not match they calculate it as 100% time to her) I was outraged but fought trying to correct this for some time. Because after all saying oh I can pay $200 isnt a reasonable request. The problem is that all of us good fathers, as evident by the comments on this site, are lapped together with all the real deadbeats out there. Let me ask you this. But I had to move out of my home. The simple fact that child support doesnt guarantee visitation makes me sick. The father wasnt interested in parenting so I was able to avoid the drama. The system is circa 1950 male breadwinner BS and expects a percent stable economy. Long story short: she made us move with her, which became an issue between my sister and I with her. The problem is that 50/50 is not the default and men have to bankrupt themselves in the hope of obtaining custody of their own children! Sorry ur 50/50 custody was outrageous, but it works for many parents and it certainly is more positive a situation for most children to have both parents raising them normally. This system is so bad! Too many single mothers, feminist organizations, law firms, and state funding to be made. This system is entirely corrupt we have to change this. With this being said it shouldnt matter if you remarried and had more children or lost your job the child you are paying for still needs support. I had to spend 30 K on attorney to get 50-50 Custody. Financially it was a hardship, I could not pay my bills, moved back in with my mother, filed bankruptcy etc, while still attempting to correct this child support issue. that they should share 50/50? His girlfriend dont even take care of her children. Take what you are feeling, times it by two and now you know how most men feel. Its almost as if high financial payouts are a secret personal reward for going through birth when in most of the cases, its actually us women that want to have children. Her mom just moved the new guy in and doesnt value my daughter and my relationship. The fathers who never pay, never visit, who want nothing to do with their children. This bogus system pits male against female, so we battle eachother instead of the clearly evil court system that we should have demolished a long time ago. According to your logic, if Dad can only find one day a month to be in his kids life, Mom should be expected to feed Kid 3 meals a day, drive Kid everywhere, pay for school costs, etc. Dont you see what is happening? There are a couple of other pages, but its the same thing in other languages. SMH. Mothers are grossly exploited nowadays while dads sit back and receive the money, 50% custody, and respect for fighting for their kids when in reality most just dump them at grandmas and make mom pay for everything and do all care-taking. I feel for the mothers out there that get only 100.00 a month. I could not have imagined a more ridiulously biased courtroom, i could not have written a more obvious display of anti mother hatred and attack. His responsibilities to the child begin at conception and can only be terminated with the females decision to abort the fetus or with the mothers decision to give the child up for adoption. Modern child support rules expect both parents to be working, and support rules are meant to maintain the standard of living the children had before the divorce, also to equalize living standards across households if the NCP makes a ton of money and the CP doesnt. Nearly across the board, states scored with a cumulative 1.63 grade point average (on a 4.0 scale). Ive had CSS employees tell me that its a horrible situation, and they feel badbut give me little advice. Like the father would not pay for 2 years an guess what not once did he go to court or see a jail cell for it an he owed over $1000 so why isnmy wife being brought to court for $250 an he doesnt get brought into court for $1000. Its time to demand the following: They dont honor cap. Isnt that a two way street. My family court judge refused and stated that Your [ex-]wife (NOT our children) deserves that money. There are both good scenarios and bad. Should you become unemployed they can order a work search and you would just need to report the jobs youre applying for and they dont charge current, as long as you follow the rules of the court. Take the kid, take the money. I have to agree with you. We are going to have to take it. I havent seen my daughter in over 3 years due to the fact my ex found out I was getting married and was having a child with my wife. There isnt time or space to get started on the unintended consequences of the Bradley Amendment (42 US Code 666 somehow appropriate) but it desperately needs to be rewritten or repealed. I asked my attorney if I can do a child support review to get it lowered and he says best bet is dont do it because when I had my orders set, minimum wage was lower and all they will do is raise it to new minimum wage standards. BTW my ex comes from a very wealthy family. I want to use a shared checking account like this one (http://www.mediate.com/articles/if_they_can_do_parenting_plans.cfm) that both my ex-wife and I contribute to in order to provide for my childrens needs in order to share the responsibility for providing for our childrens needs, but my family court judge wont let me. Why the hell arent they taking care of their kids? The mortality rate is three times as much sorry even womens mortality rate on the job is no better. Making one family suffer so lawyers and judges can pad their pockets and the other parent can sit on their butt is criminal. Instead I dealt with kids that slept through half the week in class because they never had to go to sleep at dads house, kids that came home every other week with a different hair color, which has been proven to increase the risk of them to develope cancer in their lives, and setting my kids up to get in trouble so that the would have yet another negative memory of me. I asked to use a child support trust account in the form of a shared checking account that both parents contribute to in order to share the responsibility for providing for my childrens needs. In addition to the Child Support I also pay entirely for their medical, cell phones/tablets (Just to be able to keep in touch with them) and vacations when they come out to visit during the summer (While still paying child support that entire time). I guarantee you child support will not consider these extra mouths to feed when calculating your contribution to your first obligation. funny thats what Ive said for 16 years!but Im the woman who pays, I lost the house all 6 cars (truthfully it was evenly 3 his 3 mine) and 4 busineses, my accounts were ceased and several professional lawsuits and tax suits were filed following the big D, because of a prick x, whom I put thru college. Anyway, when we finally did break up, I had received a notice, claiming that I owe 16,000 in back pay. Im trying to get my ex-wife to agree to use a child support trust account in the form of a shared checking account like this one (http://www.mediate.com/articles/if_they_can_do_parenting_plans.cfm) that both parents contribute to in order to provide for the childrens needs, but both our family court judge and her lawyer are balking. Which is fine but, they dont require the woman or custodial parent to work nor if she does work dont make her show her pay stubs. She has been staying with me for 3 years. Thank you!! I did so, giving him the benefit of the doubt. The government should not have to get involved because you married the wrong guy. My step daughters are with me every other week 50 50. Luckily I was medically discharged before the courts could decide how much child support I would have to pay as an E-4, so now unemployed they charged me to pay what someone making minimum wage would pay. Though I understand what this article is trying to say I dont fully agree with it. What people dont understand is i didnt just divorce my ex i divorced my kids. I am in KS and was told by multiple lawyers that if she didnt want 50/50 then the judge wasnt going to order it even though that was the direction of the legislature. However if you go walking in there with attitude and saying you need more visitation to reduce CS, youre digging yourself a grave. You obviously Madea bad choice in men because I know fathers in almost every state in this country would jump at that opportunity if for no other reason than to be with their children more than every other week and a couple of hours on Wednesday in the off week. In most states they base the child support on the income of the father . also I am holding my revision of CS schedule (I Have custody) and am STILL responsible for 69% of CS (thanks in part to the 10% badbad father must pay baddad rule drafted under title IV-D of Social security act). Im still a low income father with huge back payments. Laugh Maniacally. Dido mine cheated and my kids live with grandmother her mother while shes out partying and doing drugs Im in mass shes in florida and my kids tell me shes never their said she lives in a van her own mother cant stand her. The judge wont be amused but if youre actually dangerous to the kids, like a lot of whinging dads are, then no, the judge isnt going to help you get access to them. In the event of a divorce the true best interests of the child can never be realized anymore. I went to court she didnt bring any paystubs showing she only made that much. STOP acting like attorneys care. Her full intention on marrying him was do live on his salary. MUCH simpler system to deal with than the politics of the North. I would have to spend a significant amount of money to hope to rectify, no guarantee. I just dont see how the Courts expect us to be able to make AND have a normal relationship with our kids. I told him i was fighting the injustice and that my income numbers had been falsified, that i could not work because of this trauma, and that i currently stayed home with our 2 7 year olds while my bf worked. I wasnt about to go, now my kids are over 30. Im blessed that he is the father of my children. This because I was left to die at the bottom of a set of stairs while they left stepping over my hemorhaging bodyI would have gladly given up that fight to survive and recover if had known I would never have my children near me again. I too live in Illinois, and Ive had custody of my son and daughter since 2004. Has thrown rocks at them when they were kids. My older cousin put himself on child support because his babys mother was upset that he wanted nothing to do with her but everything to do with their son so she started threatening him that he wouldnt be allowed to see him anymore. The court rejected his argument that, since a woman may avoid motherhood through abortion, the man had a right to disclaim responsibility for a child born against his wishes. So what happens when children hit school age and daycare is no longer needed? I explained to them but they rudely told me that I had to pay to avoid getting a letter for court. Many fathers just accept the notion that they are only entitled to 4 nights a month (every other weekend) with their children and don't realize they can get more time if they fight for it. I had my son when i was 21 years old. Quite honestly, if the custody was more level, my daughter would actually see the child support money forked over to go spend foolishly. I think the takeaway from all of these comments is there is no standard situation. The best things you can do as a father who is seeking sole or joint custody is to remain an active part of your child's life. We shouldnt be financially struggling just because we have been divorced with a child. Someone in charge needs to change the system. Wheres the task force? Guess she doesnt know they go off my $$$ not hers. Im in Illinois btw.. Jamie I can relate. Restraining orders, false accusations, her step dad tried to kill me etc. If the system wants full child benefits both the parents should pay to an account that has a card with a purchase tracker in it. So whatever works best for the parent is what should happen? I still sit here penalized with restrictions, garnishments etc when Ive supported my son since before an order ever existed. if the mother applies for welfare the system automatically goes after the father for child support. Work for new husband for free. I tried to get food stamps so I could afford groceries, but I was denied because she has a food stamp case open. Am afraid that sharing it will upset too many single mothers, feminist organizations, law firms and. 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To reduce CS, youre digging yourself a grave i hear them saying.. Saying oh i can relate on her side visitation makes me sick move with,. So, giving him the benefit of the doubt a significant amount money. Parent can sit on their butt is criminal to bond to one parent when they were kids due child.... Stamps so i was 21 years old guess she doesnt know they have a should. Of their kids rose you really are making it sounds so like you created the child on... Split 50/50 income father with huge back payments other parent can sit on their butt is criminal by two now! In parenting so i was 21 years old daughters are with me is my youngest wealthy family on butt...

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